Episode 128: The Value of Joy - Finding it Professionally and Personally

Welcome to another edition of "Around with Randall", your weekly podcast for making your nonprofit more effective for your community, and here is your host, the CEO and founder of Hallett Philanthropy, Randall Hallett. It's another great day right here on "Around with Randall". We want to talk today about something that happened to me recently, and what that led me to, and hopefully will give you a little bit of insight into your world and what's going on. I did something a little bit unusual for Randall. I went on a spring break vacation with my family. This is, in my 52 years, the first time I've ever gone anywhere on spring break from being a kid, to high school, to college, to law school, to adulthood, and I had a fabulous time. Unfettered moments with my kids and my wife that I needed, and it was terrific. But something happened on the trip that really caused me to do some reflection and discernment that is connected to what we do in nonprofit worlds.

Let me set the scene for just a second. My six-year-old daughter and two the same with my nine-year-old son but my six-year-old daughter had had never touched an ocean, loves to swim but the oceans, here being in Nebraska, aren't exactly conducive or we're not located to be conducive to access to such things and we went to Florida and we went to the Atlantic Ocean on the, kind of on the the area of Vero Beach and we went to the beach three or four days of the seven we were down there. And every time my daughter got into the water her feet just touching the Atlantic Ocean as the waves come up on the beach there was unfurled joy in her curdling, and screaming, and laughing, and jumping up and down, and I sat there and watched and realized this is going to be one of those joyous memories she'll never forget. And she won't forget it because of the way it made her feel. It was exciting. It was new. She's sometimes the one we worry about when it comes to risk reward so she was pretty excited about getting into the water and I can attest that my wife and I were just as excited to keep her closer to the shore than wear, a cut a little deeper, but there was unmitigated joy. So much so that when I laid down with her at night as I always do and we talked about our day she just went on and on and on about the waves, and the ocean, and the water, and how neat it was that she fell asleep every day with a smile on her face. All this caused me to think a little bit about the idea of joy and it caused me to do some reading, and to think about it, and realize that joy is different than happiness.

When we think about emotions I think a lot of times we confuse the aspects of joy and happiness, and let's spend just a second or two talking about the differences. Happiness is more temporary. It's more based on emotion that comes from an experience. But joy is stronger than happiness. Joy is all about the idea of emotional connection to something, to someone, sometimes religiously. But it's about this idea of connection that's really important. Happiness is based on kind of the moments, maybe the term is earthly experiences. Joy is about some type of spiritual experience and I don't mean religious, like something connects with your soul that moves you, and sometimes that's not the gaiety that I saw in my daughter. Sometimes it's emotional as in tears of joy. We also know that happiness has a shorter time frame. Joy can last, kind of this sense of inward peace, can last for much longer periods of time. And so what I want to talk today about is about this concept of joy and why it's so important.

I keep talking about the world being chaotic and I'm not going to run from that. We have uncertain economic times in healthcare. We have people who have been asked to leave their jobs for reasons that have nothing to do with them. It's a financial situation. Education is following behind that very closely. We have with inflation going on people who aren't giving as much so that affects both those who were giving but the nonprofits who don't receive quite as much. I think there's some general concern about 2023 and what this means philanthropically. There's a lot of that doesn't even take into the political nature of our world or what's going on overseas and things of that nature. We would do ourselves some good if we spent more time in the world of joy where possible because there's actually connections to our mental and physical health with joy.

So when we think about neurobiology, when we have feelings of joy there are things that happen in our brain, things like dopamine, serotonin, oxygen, and endorphins are all released. These give you that sense of a warm feeling some might call it if you've done any athletics, a runner's high, because they have such a positive effect on your brain. But that's just the current. The longevity of joy has health outcomes, which we've talked about with gratitude. They're very much the same. It's about reducing heart attacks, at least the chance thereof, of maintaining healthier blood pressures, lower cholesterol, better ability to fight disease with your stronger immune system, you fight stress and pain better, you bounce back more quickly, and now there's even somebody saying you live longer when you live in this idea of Joy where we are living in things, where they move our brain and our bodies to produce those dopamine serotonins and endorphins.

Why is all of this important? Because a lot of my phone calls more and more often, are people who are trying to figure out what they want to do, and I don't mean like leave jobs or or change family situations. I'm just talking about what I do today isn't as much fun as it used to be. I had a conversation the other day with a chief philanthropy officer in a system who's a client who closed a $10 million gift that day and what I saw in her eyes, and what I saw in her non-verbals, and what I heard in her voice was unmitigated joy. It was the same joy in some ways that my six-year-old experienced when she first saw the Atlantic Ocean during spring break. This is 50 years of difference in age, but the same kind of pitch, tenor, tone of that voice, smile on their face, giddy because of joy.

Joy isn't necessarily just personal. Some might say well you know all the things you're talking about, those are personal. Well the reason I brought up the chief development officers is that it may seem a little odd to be talking about the business value of joy, but frankly if you think about professionals, and I'll use me as an example, I leave the house just after eight to take the kids to school, I come to my office here which you can see if you're watching, away from my home, and I don't go home till six o'clock when we have dinner. Where am I spending the majority of my time every day when I'm awake? It isn't at home. It's actually at work. And what you'll find is most people are that way as well. We've had a little bit of an adjustment with the idea of working from home and the work-life balance and things of that nature as Covid, I think, taught us, or other ways to look at going to work. But for me, I like an office. But even if you do it, working from home, you're engaged with others.

So if we're not talking about the idea of the business value of joy then we're leaving out a majority of our time, and this is where nonprofit work and philanthropy should strive to excel because we are the joy center of the professional world. For many we make a difference the people that we partner with, the people that are our donors, give us the opportunity to be the conduit between A and B to get to joy to helping others. We need to do a better job of embracing this philosophy that we're kind of wired to help each other and to be a part of something bigger. And philanthropy, non-profit work, charity work is at the heart of this. So what can we do in the business world, and then we'll talk about the personal here at the very end, that can and should engender this idea of joy. So the first thing is that our culture becomes really important. So if you're a leader listening to this, how you embrace your culture is critical.

I have a client that I work with right now. We've done a lot of different things but a campaign consulting effort that we're going through, they're doing terrific work. I look at their leader, and then the number two kind of manages the the gift team, as two of the more remarkable leaders I've ever been around. They create a culture where they celebrate success and celebrate not the money that comes in but celebrate the relationships that they have with each other and with their donors in the greater community, and that's the first key element. If you focus, and I'm not saying get rid of metrics, I'm a metrics guy, but metrics are a means to an end. Culture is built on relationships. What are you doing to get to know your employees, to get to know your co-workers, about them personally? One of the things that I think I value more than anything else in the work I do as a consultant is I know the husbands, and wives, and significant others for most of my clients, and their kids, and where they go to school, and what, because I think it's not just good business it's good relationships. It's knowing when they're having a challenge, when they lose a father or mother to death, when they have an in-law who potentially has dementia or Alzheimer's, which is going to lead that family into some very trying situations, when it, when a child is graduating and there's very great amount, a great amount of pride, when there's success inside various things, when a child gets hurt or injured during sports, or they are successful during those, I want, not because of the value of business, but because the value of relationships. I'm very fortunate that my clients stick with me for long periods of time and I think in part it isn't just because of the advice or money they raise but because of hopefully the culture that I'm either building into or helping them build themselves, or the relationships I have that are meaningful. this is why I have so many people I talk to constantly who aren't even clients anymore, just to catch up what's going on, how you doing.

Relationships is number one. Number two is that we all can understand the overall goals and how we fit into them, that we're aligned internally. So personal first. Second is alignment. How do we fit into the bigger picture? I think healthcare is struggling with this right now because the finances are so crazy that philanthropy is kind of like even pushed further away. And I can keep fighting CEOs and executives, like no, you got to bring us in. First of all, we're a great revenue stream for cheap dollars. But number, two we're the guide to joy. We're gonna get you the things you need and people are gonna love giving them to you.

Third is what is the impact that we're trying to accomplish? So that's internal or external in philanthropy, it's about value. We are talking too often about the outcomes but not the impact. What is it that we're trying to do in healthcare? Providing better health, social services, mental health, food and security, housing. Don't talk well we built a house. Talk about the family that lives in the house now or that has shelter and how that's changed their life. Impact is more important than outcome, and internally what we're doing to value those things.

Joy starts with relationships and then gets into are we all rowing in the same direction. And oh, then third, are we rowing in a way in to speak of or to give a metaphor to row towards a similar goal that has impact, that's changing people, helping people? You want to create joy in your office, know your people, help them understand how they fit into the bigger picture, and what we're doing in terms of an impact. And if you're an employee and you're not the leader ask questions. How do I become better connected to the people around me? Number two question, where you fit into the bigger process, how do we fit in as a department or an individual, individually? Finally, what are we accomplishing?

There's a terrific book I'd recommend. I read it very quickly because I found it online. I was kind of enamored by what I watched with my daughter and how it fits into the bigger picture of what I do daily. It's called Joy Incorporated 2013, How We Built a Workplace People Love. I would highly recommend it. The author is Richard Sheridan. He talks about these concepts in much greater detail than I can do here in the podcast. If you can do those three things in the business then let me transition for the last part the kind of the tactical about what you can do about it for you personally, 10 quick things. It can help you find more joy in the office but also in your personal life.

Number one is physical activity. We know when we work out, walk, jog, play tennis, walk golf courses, play badminton, I don't care what you do. What we know is physical physical activity generates those endorphins and as soon as I'm done with this podcast I'm hitting the little area, little shopping area that I have in office and I'm gonna go take a walk because I feel better afterwards, physical activity. Do what, get out, and that's sometimes tough. I'm pushing myself to schedule it more and more often, not just for the health concerns and impact but also for the joy.

Number two is volunteer. I tell my kids that they are the blessed among the blessed, but what's also important is I want them to see those that are in need so they realize how lucky they are and that they can have an impact on the people who aren't as fortunate, and that brings Joy. It brings joy in the realization that no matter how much your struggles are there probably is someone who has bigger ones. Number two is, as if you can help someone else you're helping yourself. I think about people who are going through terrible issues with health, particularly maybe later in life and that if they could see their circumstances in comparison to others and being able to help someone else they actually are helping themselves. It's something that I'm dealing with kind of personally, not for me but for someone I care about. How do I get them to see the bigger picture that there are great opportunities for them to enjoy life and also help others at the same time?

Number three is connecting with what I will call spiritual side or your spirituality, and I mean they may not be religious that may mean, doesn't mean Christianity, or Judaism, or Islamic faith or any other. It may be as simple as meditation. How do you close your eyes and pull yourself out of the druthers to kind of know where you are and to have a moment of peace? Maybe you can do that while you walk. I tend to find myself doing that a lot. Sometimes it's just sitting away from the kids. How do you find that sense of peace?

Number four is try something new. The reason my daughter was joyous was it was a new experience. If and when we go back to the Atlantic Ocean or the Pacific Ocean it will not be as joyous. It'll be fun and she'll probably be happy but that new moment of discovery was so impactful. This is why I love reading about history and learning about people because when, if I can learn something that they did or something they believed in that made a difference. That's a value to me. It makes me joyous. What is it you can discover? Pay attention to the good. This is kind of a, you know A and B, and conversely limit the negative. I find myself watching less and less news. Particularly at night, particularly between in this at least in the central region. Between six and ten it, nobody's happy. And if you sit and watch the news or and I'm old school so I don't have Twitter and on Facebook I'm getting the news from TV and from reading online, if you only read people who are unhappy with their life then guess what? You're going to be unhappy. Find places where other people are joyous and guess what. You'll be more joyous too, and the news ain't it. Now that doesn't mean we can just check out and not know what's going on in the world but it is important to realize that there's a, it's a lot easier to sell eyeballs on televisions for money and commercials and all those things with the news being negative than it is positive. Also focus on the things in your life that are positive, and I'm not talking about money. I'm talking about the little things. Health, which isn't really that little, or time with your kids. How much joy I get by coaching my son's soccer team. Did I ever tell you how much I hate soccer? It's just not my sport, but I'm having a ball coaching him and his friends because it's joyous. I get to be a part of what they're going through. It's not about me it's about them. Celebrate wins. Celebrate moments of joy. Do something that is bringing you happiness by the joy you've realized. The activity will bring you happiness, but the joy should be celebrated. Don't be afraid to celebrate those moments, and finally, if you get to a point where there is depression talk to a professional. Don't wait. And I know it's challenging. There's wait times and everything. There's a lot of great either communication, which I'm not an expert at but in terms of how to communicate with people to help them through depression or challenging times, as well as medication.

It'd be the last of my choices but I'd be remiss if I didn't mention there are ways to bring joy and realize joy in your life and to do so professionally, and I'm hoping today based on my daughter's cackling and screaming and jumping it gives you a sense that you can find the same in your life. The question is are you open to it and what you might be able to learn from looking around and helping others and being engaged and professionally helping to create that environment by making sure you have deep relationships with people you are, and they are knowledgeable at where you're trying to go and what the impact is, not the outcomes. What the values of what we're trying to do philanthropy should be at the forefront of this. And I hope it is for you today and going forward.

Don't forget to check out the blogs at Hallett Philanthropy - RSS feed. You can get them right to your computer. That's Hallett Philanthropy.com/blogs - 90 second reads twice a week. If you'd like to talk with me, have a suggestion, have a thought podcast@hallettphilanthropy.com. Don't forget what we do is joyous. It is a difference-maker for you as the professional, for those that are trying to make a difference to help those who are needing it, which brings us to my all-time favorite saying. I say it every podcast and every time I speak. Some people make things happen, some people watch things happen, and there are those who wondered what happened. Joy is about doing something for someone else, helping someone else, being a part of that effort for those who are wondering what happened, being somebody who's changing the world for those who are wondering what's going by in the world. And I can't imagine a better place to find Joy than that. I hope you find a little bit today as well. We'll be back with you next time right here on "Around with Randall" and don't forget make it a great day.