Episode 167: Valentine's Day and Philanthropy

Welcome to another edition of "Around with Randall" your weekly podcast on making your nonprofit more effective for your community. And here is your host, the CEO and founder of Hallett Philanthropy, Randall Hallett.

It's terrific to have you back for this edition of "Around with Randall". Of course, I'm Randall. Today we're going to try to tie two things together and so you may have to stick with me for 60 to 90 seconds, but as I record this we begin to close in on Valentine's Day in the next few days, and I want to see if we can talk about Valentine's Day and philanthropy. And in particular as it pertains to what we're dealing with in the world of nonprofit work, the idea and concept of love. And I'm not meaning towards donors, and I'll leave that hanging for just a minute. That's, I think, what they call a tease, in the industry.

Valentine's Day is an incredibly old holiday, almost as old as what we think of as the beginning of, let's say, the the Christian faith. Valentine's initial celebration begins in the 3rd Century with St. Valentine, and Valentine was a person who believed in Christianity at a time in the Roman Empire when Christianity wasn't an accepted option from a religious belief perspective, and he was imprisoned. And there are stories of him falling in love with the jailer's daughter and writing letters. He was one who celebrated. And the the concept of marriage, too, between two people when in the Christian faith when that was not very much allowed. He was jailed and eventually killed. Eventually he became a saint for the miracles that he performed including causing someone to see, have sight again. And it, he was initially a religious holiday, purely religious. It wasn't until the 14th and 15th centuries that Valentine's Day began to come into what I would consider at least directionally our modern form around love, around this idea of love between two people. It did not really began to take off until the 19th century, particularly in England when postal rates dropped and people started sending cards to people that they loved.

That postal rate drop in about 1840 caused a dramatic increase of nearly 400,000 cards being sent. I don't think anybody with any honesty would deny that in America that Valentine's Day, while not an artificial Holiday by any sense because of its historical tradition, has been elevated tremendously. If we want to blame one by Hallmark although I think that's a little unfair, but that the greeting card and many other commercial enterprises began to align with Valentine's Day. Candid for business purposes, corporate purposes, you sell stuff and today Valentine's Day is a worldwide a trillion dollar holiday. Truly, really only not celebrated in a couple of countries in some way, shape, or form. Almost 80 to 90% of the world celebrates Valentine's Day in what we think of as love, two people falling in love.

So you've gotten the history of Valentine's Day in a couple minutes and you're like where are we going with this. Back in episode 130 I did a podcast or did the podcast on the thoughts of the seven forms of Greek love, and you can go back and listen to that for those details. But we're going to pull a couple of those concepts forward. The reason why is, and why are we talking about Valentine's Day and the idea of Greek variations of Greek love right now is not the easiest time that we've had in the nonprofit world. To be candid I've had a number of clients who have had enormous drops. I call it a hollowing out of our annual giving process. In a episode or two ago I did one on inflation and the fact that I truly believe that while the governmental, national numbers and, air quotes here, are going to show and do show a change in inflationary rates comparison to a year ago. That's because of the the segmented inflation in some basic areas, food, gas, transportation, housing, that it's having an immense issue causing challenge for a lot of our annual fund donors. On another front, we have more and more pressure in the nonprofit sector for philanthropy to drive innovation. Think about what's going on in healthcare, and more and more CEOs really pushing into, we need money. Maybe even more the CF FES. On top of that, we have a lot of job movements. Coming out of Covid we have pay scales that are off, although we've seen nonprofit salaries increase here recently. So there's a lot of indecision, a lot of issues.

And this brings us to the idea of love, and I'm not meaning for our donors. Surprisingly, I mean for yourself, you, the people you surround yourself with. AOS is the Greek love of romantic inclination. That's really what most people view Valentine's Day as. But there are other parts of love that we can signify and we start to begin to figure out these as we talk about, what things can you love. And thus the reason the podcast today about what you do. So the first first thing is love of the profession, and these are going to be what they call phila love, which is philanthropy, love of mankind. It's an affection of a friend or affection towards something, appreciation, our profession. I'm incredibly fortunate, as I think many people are, to have quote unquote options to what you do in your life. And if you think back early on in your career, sometimes maybe you changed even careers, you changed complete professions. you tend to fall into things. I'm incredibly grateful, after 27 years of doing this that I quote unquote fell in to philanthropy. I love the profession. Sometimes I don't love every aspect of it. Sometimes I don't love the problems that come. There's even one or two people, I'm like you aren't my favorite, although I've never run anybody I just totally despise that what we know is that our profession has immense importance. Philanthropy, nonprofit, charity, however you want to look at it is a gap filler is that some people can take care of themselves, or some organizations, or causes can take care of themselves. Some are so challenged that they need immense help, and I think about the amazing work that goes on both in Social Service and even in governmental support for those who have incredibly strong mental health challenges, Down syndrome children, those that have had long-term disease that has affect their their cognitive abilities, there are organizations that you talk about. Saints and critically important people, also governmental programs that support those that struggle to take care of themselves the most. There's also kind of a different level, but true homelessness, true homelessness. But there's a gap between those that can take care of themselves and those that are being taken care of, or have a lot of support. And philanthropy, in many ways, is built for this gap. Can you imagine doing something more powerful than affecting someone else's life in a positive, meaningful way?

Love of the profession isn't just the idea of well I get paid. It's that we're making a difference. You hear me say it every single week on the podcast or anytime I speak. Some people make things happen, some people watch things happen, then there are those who wondered what happened. We are people and we partner with people, this ideal of phila love, affection, in the nonprofit space, to make a difference. I hope you can think about that even through all of the trials and tribulations, the emails that maybe you get that you're like why am I getting this, the to-dos you look at at on a daily basis going I'm never going to get this done, or even the fear you have sometimes of building out relationships. There's something to love about our profession.

Second love, the love of dreams. I've been rewatching A History Channel docu- series, biography, kind of combination, The Men Who Built America. It's all about JP Morgan, it's Bankers, Rockefeller oil, Carnegie steel, Ford from the automobile perspective, Cornelius Vanderbilt, and Vanderbilt family from the Rail and shipping people. Don't know that but he started in shipping sold it all the way to build rail. They had dreams, and in that same vein our nonprofits have dreams. We should love those dreams cuz that's what makes the world a better place. I think there's a beauty in working and being a part of my children's life, 10 and seven, where they're dreaming all the time. There's no filters as to what's possible. That should be the essence of philanthropy.

I'm working or just beginning work with a nonprofit who is having some conversations about budgets because I know this sounds strange but they have too much money, and the board's like what do we do. What do we do? And I said you're asking the wrong question. What are your dreams? If you don't have a three to five year plan, what do we want to be in three to five years, and how do we make that affect people's lives. Then it's not as much fun. So you can love the dream, even if that dream doesn't have definition, even if it doesn't have a business plan, even if it doesn't have outcomes the way it should. Dreams are good things. Dreaming about what the world can be by what we do and the organizations we represent and what they do, that's a lot of love that and the possibilities. Then there's this idea of not only the idea a phila from the love of affection but I would say that pragma is kind of this long lasting love, and I hope you have that for your teammates, for your colleagues, the world, and your life would be a lot less enjoyable, fulfilling. Maybe would be a better way to put it. If you didn't have someone or a group of people to go on the journey with in a for-profit office. I'm not saying that it's a bad place because it's not. My father owned his own for-profit company. I am a for-profit company more related to philanthropy. But nonprofits, but there's something gratifying around being in an office where everybody's going in the same direction, and that's probably easier to do in a nonprofit than it is in a for-profit. That doesn't mean you always have to agree. It doesn't mean you always are moving in the same direction, but most of the time my experience is everybody wants the same outcome.

Philanthropy and Healthcare, how do we provide better health care services for our community, education? How do we provide more opportunity for people to maximize their potential using education as one of those components? Give them, you know, a future? Social Service. How do we help people who need a hand up or need a hand out? There's something noble connecting in our offices. When things are a little chaotic we lose sight of this idea of phila love of affection, Love of the friend, and pragma the long lasting love that should come when we work with someone for a long time, when we have the same general concept of what we want to accomplish. This has been challenged by coming out of Covid where we've remote worked. One of the things I'm concerned about, both short and long term, is if people are so remote in their working do they really build, to steal from Tony Robbins, the Rapport that leads to love that we're all doing something noble. We all have a different part in its success. Love your colleagues, love your teammates.

Fifth kind of love, love your support system. I am a workaholic. I love what I do every day. I really don't think I've been to work in decades, but that doesn't happen without other people supporting me. When I wrote my book, Vibrant Vulnerability, which I'm very proud of, is doing very well somewhere between 8 and 20 on the on the Amazon sales list when it comes to the nonprofit sector, thing I think I look forward to the most was writing the prologue and the acknowledgements. The prologue was the setup which we won't deal with today. The acknowledgements was about thanking some people, certainly the people who help put the book together, but more importantly or maybe differently was a chance to say thank you to some key people that have been a part of my life professionally. Mentors Glen Fosic and especially to thank my parents, to say I could not be where I where I'm at without you and what you did for me from the day I was born till today. And one of the things that I really pushed because as some of you may know Dad had leukemia at about a point the book was about ready to come out as I forced the printing a little bit more quickly, least a couple copies. so I get him a copy before he died. I don't think he read. I know he didn't read it. But I know he read the acknowledgement, and for me at home, everything begins and ends with my wife and just the utter joy of being a dad. From my son and my daughter, if you don't love your support system then you have a sense of well one of two things at least in my opinion entitlement, like you did all this on your own, which is crazy, or you're not appreciative to those who may have had a part in your

journey. Love of support, and the support systems, and the people who supported you is critically important because it makes you feel good to recognize those that were part of your direction, your successes, but also makes them feel good about the investment they put in you.

The last is kind of this idea of feler Fier love of oneself. It's okay to look in the mirror and say I'm doing okay. Abraham Maslow did the hierarchy of needs. I've talked about it in different podcasts. I do it when I when I consult because I believe in it. Maslow's highest level of achievement is self-actualization. That doesn't mean you're perfect. It just means, at least to the way I think about it, you can look in the mirror, know who you are, and be okay with who you are. But still know there's ways to improve and how to do that. It's important to love yourself. When the day has gone bad it's okay to look in the mirror and say, had a bad day but I tried awfully hard and I'm going to get up tomorrow and do it again. It's okay. Okay to say I need a break and take a day off, or a week off, or take some PTO to regroup so I can be great for the other people that I love in my office for the cause I believe in, for the dreams that are trying to be accomplished. I think sometimes we drive so much towards goal that we forget about loving oneself. Nobody's worse than I am at this.

So it's okay think about love on Valentine's Day from a professional standpoint, of the profession, of the dreams, of your colleagues and teammates, of your support system to help you get where you are, where they're going to get you, where you go and yourself for what you put in ever day.

Remember my favorite kind of love is agape, the Greek love of Agape. It means selfless. How do you help others one minute, then on the tactical what can you do to show this kind of love to these places? Number one is you can write a note to someone. One of the things I think that I appreciate the most, which would then tie back into my mother is not only write a note but do something for somebody. My seven-year-old daughter is an artist. She gets more joy out of making handmade cards, which I have stacked up at the office. I can't throw them away for me, she, there's just a glow in her eyes, a glow in her face, in her heart. I love you Daddy. Most importantly, I reciprocate that because I feel much better when she hands me those cards. My mother gets, feels better when she cooks for people. She takes brownies and cookies and all kinds of stuff and makes stew and says here. You know we don't even know what's coming. Thank you. Do something for someone. Just simply say thank you. Pick up the phone. Call somebody that meant something to and say thank you. Don't have to do it on Valentine's Day. Do it around Valentine's Day. Let's make Valentine's Day a time where we can shepherd love to lots of different places, and with lots of different people. Send a card.

I've told the story, my mom when I was in college would send me Hanukkah cards and you know yam or Rosh Hashanah cards and you know Arabic holidays and we're not I'm was raised Presbyterian. The card just simply said I'm thinking of you and I love you. I remember those things. You would too. All this is about gratitude which we talk way too much about. Actually I take that back. We don't talk enough about gratitude which has health consequences. Appreciate the people around you. And these are tactical ways.

My last piece of advice in 10 seconds, if you're in a wonderful relationship that does deal more in the AOS the romantic love, don't forget that one on Valentine's Day. There'll be a lot less love in your life if you do. Love isn't just about romance. Love is about people. There's lots of different ways to realize that. You can love what you do, where you do it, with the people you do it. And what the cause is that you do it with, and the people who got you there, and love yourself a little bit. Take. Don't be so hard on yourself and keep driving, keep working. I'd love to see Valentine's Day be more directed towards not just the romantic but all the aspects of love that the Greek, seven different aspects or seven different definitions, allow us to look at it.

Don't forget, if you want to reach out it's podcast@Hallettphilanthropy.com. And there's blogs, two a week that are posted just 90 second reads. Take a look and get an RSS feed right to You. RSS feed right to you so you can see them on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Love is a powerful, powerful medicine for those emotions, for those thoughts even for those physical ailments that can help, that challenge us. Love can be part of the solution. Find ways to love who you are, what you do, and the thing the people you work with for the things you believe in. What you'll find is you will find have a more meaningful life and a more meaningful professional career. And you will be someone who makes things happen. You will be someone who doesn't watch what happen and you certainly won't be someone who wonders what happened, and that's a great way to spend both personally and professional time on this Earth. We'll look forward to seeing you next time right back here on another edition of "Around with Randall." Don't forget make it a great day.