Episode 50: Coaching - Getting to an Individual's Potential and Meeting their Needs

Welcome to another edition of “Around with Randall,” your weekly podcast making your non-profit more effective for your community, and here is your host, the CEO and Founder of Hallett Philanthropy, Randall Hallett.

I welcome you to “Around with Randall,” and of course I’m Randall and today we're going to talk about coaching and mentoring in more of a formal fashion. This comes up quite a bit in the world of Hallett Philanthropy as I work with a number of gift officers, scores of them, as a matter of fact, on a weekly and monthly basis. And then on top of that is the thought process of a more formalized coaching relationship that I do with a smaller group of people, but growing almost monthly in terms of what they're trying to get to. 

So as always we'll start at the top and and kind of look at it from the 50,000 foot view and then begin to hone down to a much lower altitude and finally that 500 foot view, tactically what can you do to better understand coaching and mentoring and what it might mean to you on a personal level. So let's start as as kind of the biggest picture coaching is, I think sometimes not discussed as much as it should be because it's such an important part of development for many professionals, there are maybe a lot of variations of coaching. I kind of think about them in four tranches or four areas. 

The first is what is considered executive coaching and that probably gets the most amount of attention in this general area and it's really about improving leadership skills for business and management challenges could be involved when there's a major change either in the organization or for the person themselves. It also can include the concept of work-life balance. 

The second is maybe what's construed or thought of as career coaching and this is about helping an individual develop a plan for their career maybe it's at the beginning in the things that are their strengths and weaknesses and where they could gather experience. It also could be about what is of interest to them. Maybe they're at a decision point and i think about philanthropy as young fundraisers or young professionals there's a point at which where you're kind of looking at, do I look at this as myself as a major gift officer or an annual giving officer maybe a little bit further along, do I look at myself as beginning to get into the supervision and management? That's much different than remaining in a major gift direction as you get into the leadership and the politics and organizational theories. So, the second is kind of that career development coaching. 

The third is leadership coaching and this is about developing and honing actual leadership skills. What are strengths and weaknesses of individuals and how can they improve in those specific areas? It also gets into what's maybe thought of as the “soft skills,” the emotional intelligence that it requires when you're working with people internally, maybe helping being more visionary what's coming.

The fourth is really kind of this internal coaching and the reason I push that aside is it it has a unique place because it's coaching from the inside of an organization. Sometimes, and I think about the legal profession partly because I have so many friends who are lawyers and having attended law school myself that get an internal mentor when they start, particularly at a big firm, if you remember the Tom Cruise movie “The Firm,” Gene Hackman was assigned to him as his mentor - internal mentor. And really, it's about helping them understand the profession, understanding the firm, the organization, helping them with communication and things of that nature. I do this kind of work and really enjoy getting into the depths of what clients, individuals are trying to get at into one of those four areas. 

The way I kind of look at it is is that that there's kind of a three-step process to this. Number one is the assessment piece. Where is it they are now? And I use a lot of different opportunities to get to know that, whether it's DISC training or test. Certainly things like Myers-Briggs, even 360 evaluations where the organization or the organizational leader in their perspective of this individual trying to get a holistic look. Then the second is kind of this idea of building and executing a plan once you get the outside perspective. What is it the person wants to accomplish and how do you build a plan? Those things include, you know, readings and certainly a lot of one-on-one conversations and that plan then becomes a regular every two weeks or so communication discussion conversation about various aspects of what they want to improve and really what's going on inside the organization with their professional interpersonal relationships that they're trying to work on or to build from. The nice thing about the communication is is that it's so confidential I don't talk about it with anybody because I want them to feel as if i'm an open, non-judgmental supporter of what they're trying to accomplish, and many times it's challenging for me because I want to give them the answer and it's really more about self-discovery. 

the third part about what I do is kind of what I call transitioning to long-term or or the the long-term effect of it. Normally coaching while i'm always here, and hear from lots of people that I’ve worked with year after year, it becomes less formalized. Meaning, what is it that we're trying to build to give people the skills and the thought process so they can take what's learned during that period of time  - usually about a year - and be able to utilize it going forward. Are there things that cause them consternation? Are there triggers that occur that elicit certain responses? And how do we either positively accept that and use that, or if it's a negative, overcome that? What are some of the things that we can do to build a long-term plan so they're not dependent on the coach? Because they shouldn't be. They should be growing like a tree, and eventually that tree becomes fallen, can take care of itself in most instances.

In some ways I look back at my own experience in coaching and think about as somebody said something to me recently about maybe I’ve been doing this a lot longer than I really realized. I was working with a client and coaching and we were working through some situations and had some positive things for them and the the comment that this individual made was really was more of a question, “Were you the guy where all the girls in high school trusted you and you were a friend to many many but probably didn't date many of them?” I thought it was such an interesting question and the answer was that's fair, that's accurate. All the way through, actually, law school, college, law school didn't have a lot of girlfriends… had a lot of girls that were friends. I said “Why did you make this jump? Why? What brought on this question?” And the comment that the individual made was humbling but they said “You're trustworthy and I thought as I reflected on that, how important that is to coaching. That the people that I am fortunate enough to work with coaching is about that trust. It's about the ability for them to bring very personal very conflicted possibly very trying situations to the forefront, and if you're judgmental, if you're not trustworthy, what you end up with is an issue where you start losing the vantage point of what they're going through and that made me feel very proudM very appreciative of the things that they said.

And, it's really a cornerstone, I think, of much of my work is I look at it almost like attorney-client privilege. I’m just not going to talk about it with the people that I love or the other people in the organization or in general. And I’m not posting it into a blogs or into you know facebook live. Coaching is in the ability to have honest and candid feedback, dialogue, and really awakening for the client that allows them to be better at what they are looking to improve.

i also recently have challenged myself to look at it a little bit differently and maybe i'll steal a little bit from “Star Wars.” When I started my career coming right out of law school I was given an immense amount of responsibility and a great deal of faith and trust by some pretty amazing mentors, and was taught along the way as well, for which i think of Tom Pesci and Mike Dempsey, the people that I just…I owe an awful lot to Glenn Foster. In many ways, they were my internal coaches as we talked about. 

Kind of those four at the top but I always to go back to that “Star Wars” analogy where I was headed was always the Luke Skywalker. I was the young guy going out to fight the good battle not really knowing what I was doing, always looking for an opportunity to be better to make others more whole, to make the world a  better place. And I’m now further along in my life in my career and instead of wanting to be Luke, I really want to be Yoda, and in some ways that's coaching. Yoda, if for those who don't know “Star Wars,” one or two of you out there in the world, is this figure that teaches about what are the best parts of good, about the communication, about about feelings about the ability to be one self, to be whole. And not Yoda wasn't seeing Yoda… started off in the second as i think about it.

I’m old enough I think, actually ,the fifth in sequence of the “Empire Strikes Back” as on a planet that nobody knew where he was and and then he fades away and he reappears only to certain people, and in the end he's not known. It's Luke who receives all the accolades. That's kind of why I look at coaching and kind of the rest of my career I don't mind being the impetus. But I would rather see my clients be more successful, let them receive the accolades. They're doing the hard work. What I want them, hopefully, to think about is it and like a good coach hopefully I’m here to help them make them better, make them the center point that that genuineness of hoping that they're more successful and can take that bow, because I really don't need or want it anymore. 

I read this in a book recently about marketing and how you want to put this concept of Yoda versus Luke into into practice, and it's really resonated with me and it's really the essence of coaching. And so let's turn quickly. So we started the the high level and kind of what coaching is and what I see and then kind of some of the nuance of it, what is it that you can do tactically to help yourself with a formal coach or without a formal coach? The first is is that you need to probably take some self-analysis about what is it that you want, and be honest as to what those holes are that don't allow you to get there. We all have deficiencies. I have more than the average bear, I can promise you, but are we recognizing what they are and do we move ourselves into our strengths and do we try to improve those weaknesses? I’ve talked about the art of self-actualization and Maslow, that's what this is is. There's a realization about where I’m headed and where I can improve.

The second question I would ask, so what do you want is number one, who do you trust is number two. You can have a coaching-mentor relationship without the formalization. Sometimes it's easier if someone's been through the ringer a few times and can make it a little more professional, and sometimes even better they're outside the organization because there are things happening internally you don't want to discuss with people that are internal or in that same company. But who do you trust is the biggest question of all. It's trust that will develop the relationship in a way that is most valuable, and trust will also provide you with corrective feedback. Not everything is positive. Sometimes somebody needs to say, “you know this isn't maybe the best look, or, did you think about it a different way, or, do you happen to take time to think about what the other side, the other perspective the other argument is? That trying to say not to be accusatory but to be open to that constructive not even criticism but just awareness. Those holes are critical because if we don't understand ourselves we sometimes can move into those deficits and then it causes confirmation in the relationship in the activity, in the goal, and what we want is to steer ourselves into where our strengths lie.

So number one was what do you want, number two is who do you trust, number three is can you identify your holes, the deficiencies, and come up with the opportunity to grow, and number four is invest in those.. are you willing to have a a formalized professional coaching relationship, are you willing to invest in yourself with, whether it's online education opportunities or to to grow or reading or meditation or whatever it is that will help you grow as a person and a professional. Are you willing to invest the time and the resources to do so can you be open about it? If you can know what you want and who you trust and you can see your holes and you're willing to invest in many ways, that's the essence of what coaching is all about, and I’m honored, truly honored, when I get into those positions where I can help someone do those kinds of things and come up with the long-term game plan to get them where they want to go. And at the end if they get there i'm the happiest guy in the world because maybe I was this tiny, tiny, tiny part of that opportunity for them, coaching, mentoring, critical and something that we can all embrace to be our better selves.

Couple reminders as always, don't forget about the blogs I just posted. Two or three more just 90-second reads on what's going on in the world, something to think about in our profession, something maybe has happened in my life that applies to what we do in in the nonprofit world. Just always want to give some thought and get people to think a little bit. 

If you have a comment about the podcast if you'd like to email me that's podcast at hallettphilanthropy.com and if you don't think I did something well or you disagree or have a challenge or problem reeks - r e e k s at hallettphilanthropy.com. Give me an email, tell me a different perspective. I only get better when I’m challenged and give an opportunity for others to teach me because that's important. As we move back into the school year it's a good time to remind everybody that the nonprofit world serves so many functions in what we do and the reason I bring up school years, it's kind of a re-awakening. You know, my kids going back to school, they're excited and we meet the teacher everybody kind of starts again. I think it's a great opportunity for us to always take a moment or two and reflect upon those awakening moments and realize what nonprofit work does. It helps people, it helps the organizations we believe in, the things we believe in, the community that we believe in, and it brings me to the way I conclude each and every podcast, in almost every presentation I make. Some people make things happen, some people watch things happen, and then there are those who wondered what happened. That Gaelic phrase you probably have heard me say a million times, but non-profit work is about people making things happen for people who are wondering what happened. That's the joy of what we do and I hope you feel that. I hope there's a reawakening as we have the school year start. I hope it gives you a chance to re-enlist that emotional need that emotional push to make a difference for other people and to make our community a better place. I’ll look forward to seeing you right back here next time on “Around with Randall.” My privilege to have you here. I hope today was a little bit of a coaching inspiration for you to better yourself thanks again and don't forget make it a great day.