The Value of Winning and Losing
While watching the Creighton versus San Diego State basketball game, a thrilling battle for entry into the Final Four, I had flashbacks of another game nearly 40 years ago. And all through the eyes of a growing boy.
If you didn't follow the game, at the end of regulation there was a controversial official’s call that allowed San Diego State to shoot free throws with little time left on the clock. With the score tied at 56, the free throws, even just one, would be the difference in the game. It turned out it was only one point from one free throw. However, the foul call was quite controversial causing an uproar on social media and on television. But more importantly, it was controversial in the eyes of a nine-year-old boy. My son and I laid on the couch watching the game, pulling for Creighton. In the end, there were tears in my son's eyes as his chosen hope was brought down by defeat.
At that moment, I had a flashback back to September 1982. It was in the fall when Nebraska Football went to Penn State to play and two controversial calls at the end of the game, both going against Nebraska, proved to be the difference in the Penn State victory. I remembered those same crocodile tears I saw in my son's eyes rolling down my cheeks some 40 years ago. And like my son, I was devastated. It was then I remembered almost to the word what my father told me... And what I would tell my son.
It's not the winning or losing that's most important. And you don't get to control all the aspects of life. And in the end, life isn't fair. I told my son, as my father had told me, it's about what you do in these moments that define a person. And that while these words may not make much of a difference at this exact moment, they'll make sense someday. And then just like my dad did with me, I gave my son an enormous hug.
It's kind of amazing how true this simplistic message is. Sometimes we think we have more control than we actually do. The old adage of making lemonade out of lemons, while corny, is accurate. It's also hard to remember. We get frustrated and angry when the world seems to turn against us. It causes our behavior to change and our words to become less cordial and more cynical. And yet the cynicism and the vitriol don't change the circumstances. I'm not even sure it makes you feel better, either in the short or long run.
Here's hoping that the lesson I preached to my son, which was bestowed upon me, is something I can execute on a more regular basis. And here's hoping the same is true for all of us.
