The Collapse of Inhibition—My Dancing Son
No matter who you are, no matter how accomplished you might be, we all have inhibitions. Those things or activities that cause us great distress. Those moments where we'd rather shrink into the corner than step into the limelight.
I recently watched my son dance right over and past his inhibitions.
My niece, my wife’s brothers daughter, got married recently. The wedding took place near where my wife grew up in Baton Rouge, LA. It was a fun event and we couldn't be more excited for our niece as we had an opportunity to get to know her new husband. And while family weddings can be a great activity of joy, which this one was, the moment was overtaken by my son.
My son's a smart boy. But he has always been a little reserved. A little apprehensive to stick his mind and his leadership into open space, most of the time where it could be helpful and utilized. And while we have talked about it many different times, he has been hesitant even more so than a normal 11-year-old boy.
And then the dancing started at the wedding.
For nearly two hours, he danced in the middle of the dance floor to almost every song. He was the first to dance with his cousin, the bride, after raiding my wallet of $20 for the dollar dance. He danced to the fast songs. He danced to the slow songs. He danced with his sister and his mother. He danced more often than not with total strangers. It was like I was watching a kid I didn't know.
I will not try to critique his dance moves. That's like the pot calling the kettle black. But what I did comment on, to him in particular, is that I was incredibly proud of him. For overcoming his inhibitions. He became, without any malice aforethought, the center of attention. An 11-year-old boy, still wearing his tie, dancing like a crazy man. Smiling. Laughing. Trying to find rhythm in music, more often than not missing the beat entirely. But he was an amazing bundle of joy.
As I sat and watched, I thought whether or not I would have the courage to do that. To look a little crazy. Maybe even a little foolish. To dance and just to enjoy the moment and have fun. And even though I can stand up in front of thousands of people and try to command their attention as I speak or teach, normally without much reservation, the dancing one was a little past me. But not for my boy.
Much of the time we fail to lean in to overcome our inhibitions. It holds us back. It doesn't allow us the moments that we deserve. And for one little boy, it's precluded him to limited degree from having some of the opportunities he well deserved. But I have a feeling that may be coming to an end. As a father, you want your child to be safe and to be happy. A chance to grow. What I saw was growth in direct alignment and proportion to happiness and joy. All coming from a dance floor from an 11-year-old with unlimited “moves.” But enthusiasm, courage, and fearlessness can make up for not having any rhythm to bring a smile to everyone's face. And most importantly, to him when he said that he had a great time and that he was proud of himself.
