Making Connections…. and Not Via the Phone
It might seem inconsequential, but when I walk from my office to the communal building bathrooms, I am constantly amazed by the interaction of the young people who sit in the lobby area. Rather, the lack of interaction. There are almost always groups of younger people sitting in the lobby are of the building… in a group. But no one is talking to each other.
In the same vein, my wife and I went to dinner recently (a rare night away). And we both marveled at the number of people/couples/partners/dinner companions (mostly younger) who were sharing a table with each other but not sharing of each other.
In both circumstances, everyone was staring at their phones.
Younger generations are more connected than ever—just not always to the people around them. This phenomenon, often called “phubbing” (phone snubbing), is reshaping social interactions and may have serious psychological consequences. Studies show that excessive smartphone use negatively impacts in-person relationships. A 2023 study published in Computers in Human Behavior found that phubbing leads to lower relationship satisfaction and weaker social bonds. Another study in The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships revealed that people who feel ignored by phone-absorbed friends report higher levels of loneliness and anxiety.
The issue extends beyond just personal connections. Constant phone engagement disrupts attention spans and reduces the ability to engage in meaningful conversations. Research from the University of Texas found that merely having a phone visible during a discussion can reduce cognitive capacity, making interactions less fulfilling.
This addiction to screens is reinforced by dopamine-driven rewards from social media, texts, and notifications, which keep users checking their phones compulsively—even when surrounded by real people. Experts warn that over time, this can weaken empathy, social skills, and the ability to form deep relationships.
While smartphones are indispensable, setting boundaries—such as phone-free meals or designated screen-free times—can help rebuild real-life connections. We do this at home. No phone during dinner. No phones during family movie night. No phones when my wife and I are talking to each other. Some of this is just being older (my wife and me) and not having a phone in my hands for the last 50 years. But I can’t even imagine what the long-term effects might be for so many who have lived their life in a screen rather than what is happening around them.
