Keeping Your Cool

In sports, the adage is “the second guy always gets caught.” What that means is that in the heat of action, a player might push an opponent, but the opponent gets caught pushing back. Basically, they missed the first offense but catch the second. That’s applicable in work environments as well.

Recently, I’ve had a client who is been dealing with one of their employees. It’s not that the employee is a bad person or not well intention, but sometimes the level of execution in activities lacks proficiency. And as a consultant, a counselor in some ways, I hear the stories of frustration in not getting basic outcomes from simple problems and issues.

It’s a good reminder for all of us. All of us get frustrated. I think more so today because of the changing world, the pandemic, financial strain, uncertainty, etc. that we forget that it’s the reaction that may cause more problems than the initial issue. You have to keep your cool. I’m not immune to this issue at all. There are remarkably frustrating moments with various activities, and I have to remind myself to keep my cool.

Sometimes that means walking away. Sometimes that means just taking a walk and decompressing. Sometimes that means trying to find deep amounts of empathy in that the other person is trying their best but it’s just not working out. Sometimes that’s blowing off steam in a safe environment with a trusted friend just to get it off your chest. My all-time favorite is writing an email to myself explaining to me why I’m so frustrated---just getting it out.

In the end, leadership is not reacting in a crushing negative way to the person or the situation in which you find frustrating. You have to be the bigger person. You have to be willing to find an alternative rather than expressing that frustration. It’s not easy to do. But it’s essential.

Mom and dad were right. It’s not what happens to you as much as how you react to it.