The Difference between Competitors and Adversaries
Consulting is a competitive business. I’ve known it for nearly a decade. In some ways consulting mirrors philanthropic efforts. The sales process is very similar to the moves management fundraising process. And there is competition for philanthropists’ attention just like there are a lot of consulting groups. Also, do you want your mission to speak for your values and efforts? Reputation is critical for both.
I had a recent call with a colleague who has their own consulting firm. Our relationship has always been very collegial. Warm in some regards. This call reflected that. We found our way to a conversation where they talked about a situation where information had come their way about another consulting firm, and they turned that information down/back. All because it was wrong. They did the right thing. And that’s the example of where adversarial differs from competitive.
Adversarial implies that the other side is harmed or downgraded as a part of the aggressive effort. Competition speaks to the fact that both parties put forth their best effort and the best one wins.
There are very few people I have adversarial relationships with---personally or professionally. I don’t find them beneficial. In fact, in those moments in life where there have been some challenges, being adversarial tends to hurt me more than the other person. What I’ve learned is that most people or organizations you want to be adversarial really don’t care about your thoughts or feelings---they are in it for themselves. And in the end, you’re the only one who suffers.
This is true inside our philanthropic organizations and the relationships we have with other professionals in our nonprofits. This is the same with other nonprofits in your community and the competition for limited shareable dollars. It happens every place.
The question becomes are you adversarial or competitive? If you find yourself too adversarial too much of a time, my guess is you’ll feel isolated, alone, lost, and without a sense of community that makes life a lot more worth living. Try doing your best and hoping that others are doing the same…you might find a little bit more happiness/contentment.
