Am I Too Loud? Let Me Whisper “Yes”
While 30 plus years ago and multiple pounds less, when I reflect back on my days of playing football, I love being a quarterback. I loved being a leader. Maybe it's better said that I love the opportunity to be a leader. Probably others should make that decision. But I also loved the game, being able to audible, or change the play at the line of scrimmage, to get us into something that would be more viable. And it didn't hurt that I had a voice, and still do, that could echo across the field.
And while my playing days, other than swinging a golf club, are over for most sports, that loud voice comes in handy on the athletic field or on the court (also yelling “four” way too often). As a coach, I have a strong philosophy of not being negative. Trying to always find the good in what the kids are doing. Also, aligning with that philosophy is the realization that none of these kids are going to be professionals. Frankly, most are not even going to play high school sports. But they love to play and I love to coach, and so I helped them.
That help tends to come in loud measures. In soccer or basketball, I'm always talking to the kids. While they're playing. Trying to get them into position to be successful. Maybe it's because I'm older and I can see the game develop more quickly, but I want the kids to have an opportunity to feel success. Not winning. Success. Improvement. Feeling good about themselves. Teamwork. Growing. And the loud voice from the sidelines still echoes across the field.
What's the implication of having too loud of a voice?
Some say that loud voices tend to annoy people around you. If that's true, I owe an extra thank you to my wife of nearly 25 years. Other commentary would say that the loud voice can help form the wrong conclusion about you. That you're angry or seeking attention or just ill mannered. Again, an extra thanks to my wife.
At this age and with these kids, the one thing that I'm not as concerned about is their idea of free will. That my voice will overtake their decision making. The reason I'm not concerned is that at ages 11 and 7, there aren't many decisions at all (dad always said kids brains are in their socks). But if we remove the age, and make it adults, does being loud remove other opportunities for others to contribute to make a difference? Being too dominant? Not listening enough? Maybe these same questions are applicable for 4th and 1st graders playing YMCA sports as well…
I can't change my voice. It's been useful at times… even back into my broadcasting days when I sat on the sidelines doing play by play for both television and radio. Or those years that I was one of the PA voices at the Kansas City Chiefs. But all of those days are gone. And I find myself questioning my loudness. Am I hurting or helping? After almost every game I make sure to ask my wife, and others, if I was negative or insulting at all. Fortunately, the answer has always been no. Very gratefully the commentary that I get from others is that I'm positive and instructive, but loud.
Something to think about as my kids get older. And then also with clients and other relationships. Can I tone it down? Should I tone it down? Am I capable of doing either? All good questions without answers today but plenty of thought regarding the options going into the future.
